Michelle Obama has sparked a conversation on marriage and relationships after a recent interview, in which she spoke candidly about how she “couldn’t stand” her husband Barack Obama for ten years.
Speaking about the period of time when they were raising their young children, daughters Malia and Sasha, Michelle spoke with Angie Martinez, Kelly Rowland, Tina Lawson, Winnie Harlow and H.E.R. as part of her book tour for The Light We Carry.
In a clip that has since gone viral on TikTok, she says: “There were ten years where I couldn’t stand my husband… and guess when that happened? When those kids were little, right?”
“Because you know, you can be all great individually when you’re just married. You got your life, he’s got his, you come together… it’s all, ‘ooh, good to see you! Bye, take it easy! You’re travelling? That’s great! Good, I get to hang out and watch the TV I want to watch.’”
She then adds: “But the minute we had kids it was like, ‘Where are you going? And how far?’… It’s like, that’s when the measuring starts, because you got this project… For ten years, while we’re trying to build our careers, and worrying about school and who’s doing what, I was like [grrrr], this isn’t even. And guess what? Marriage isn’t 50/50, ever.”
@realllinterviews Michelle Obama speaks on Marriage
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Michelle goes on to say that she’s proud of her 30-year marriage and the many happy years she’s had with Barack. “I would take 10 bad years over 30,” she says. “It’s just how you look at it, right? And people give up after five years.”
Of knowing whether to stick with a relationship despite hard times, she adds: “You’ve gotta know your person. Do you like him? You could be mad at him, but do you still look at him and go, ‘I’m not happy with you, but I respect you. I don’t agree with you but you’re still a kind, smart person.”
She then goes on to discuss “the work” that being in a long-term relationship requires – acknowledging that those initial ‘honeymoon period’ feelings will only last so long.
Many TikTok viewers were inspired by Michelle’s words, and could hard relate. “I think this is the most candid, emotionally mature and real depiction of marriage,” one commented, with another replying: “Bless her for speaking so candidly about marriage/parenting because this is SPOT ON and no one talks about it!!”
But over on Twitter, there was further debate, with some suggesting that Michelle was implying women should stay in unhappy marriages, or settle despite feeling unhappy.
Journalist Alexis Oatman writes: “I want Michelle Obama to stop selling this ‘marriage is pain’ narrative cause, baby… I REFUSE. I don’t want to be in a relationship where it’s expected of me to ‘be prepared for years-long stretches of discomfort in a romantic partnership.’”
i KNOW Michelle said she had 10 years of bad Marriage, But Barack said he had 30 years of Bad marriage. I think it true, because who could live Michelle for that long? Stuck on her self.
Hid dick hurt her ass?
I am a colored Muslim and hail from Henry Kissinger’s “Bottomless Basket” Bangladesh which by now achieved the TITLE of Emerging Tiger. Naturally I was proud of President Obama and his spouse as well.
From today however, while my sense of respect and fervor of regard have gone up to the HEAVEN height for President Obama- that for his spouse has gone down considerably- yet not to the bottom of Hades. Being an old man counting last days- from now on, I shall be overwhelmed with the thought as to how the double term President Obama could become a President of the mightiest NATION on planet Earth at all(?) and deliver so much for this great country and the world having someone seemingly non-cooperative with a bit of trifling & frivolous mentality in his bed making his rest time- I mean nights, seemingly uncomfortable? I am sorry for being blunt.