Vladimir Putin to Undergo Emergency Surgery After Falling Downstairs & ‘Soiling Himself’

Vladimir Putin is scheduled to undergo an emergency colon operation after the Russian leader allegedly fell down a set of stairs and “defecated himself” last week, reports state.

The surprising development marks just the latest procedure the 70-year-old Russian president is forced to undergo amid reports Putin’s health is quickly deteriorating.

According to reports, evidence of Putin’s current state of health following the fall was evident Thursday night as the leader met with Kyrgyzstan President Sadyr Japarov.

An aide was also spotted following Putin closely as the Russian president stepped off his plane and slowly walked over to greet Japarov.

“Putin will have a simple surgical operation,” said one Telegram source regarding his alleged upcoming procedure.

The source added, “The fall from the stairs last week, which resulted in a bruised tailbone, did not go unnoticed and caused new problems not directly related to the bruise.”

As previously reported, the fall allegedly took place in Putin’s Moscow residence on November 30.

But not only did Putin reportedly stumble down five stairs and land on his tailbone, but the struggling Russian leader also allegedly “involuntarily defecated” himself as a result of the “cancer affecting his stomach and bowels.”

“Nothing critical was diagnosed, the president’s condition closer to nighttime was stable, he can get around on his own, with pain in the coccyx area while sitting being the only thing that bothers him,” said General SVR regarding the incident.

The Press and Information Office of the President of the Russian Federation has since denied the rumors of Putin soiling himself, telling Newsweek via email that the story was “completely untrue.”

Despite the Press and Information Office’s claim otherwise, other Kremlin insiders have since corroborated the story, confirming that “due to cancer, Putin has serious digestive problems and has been on a strict diet for the past few months”.

The Kremlin insiders also revealed Putin regularly suffers from “bouts of coughing, dizziness, sleep disturbances, abdominal pain and constant nausea” in addition to “the manifestation of symptoms of Parkinson’s disease and schizoaffective disorder.”

Due to his ongoing health problems, Putin is purportedly planning to step down from power “in the next 13 months.”

“He will most certainly leave before 2024,” predicted Valery Solovey, a Russian political analyst. “It is even possible he will announce his departure before the New Year, but this depends on his state of his health.”

Original Article

8 thoughts on “Vladimir Putin to Undergo Emergency Surgery After Falling Downstairs & ‘Soiling Himself’

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  1. If you have never bruised your tailbone you have no idea of pain. I thought it worse than childbirth simply because it never stops and is almost as severe. Poor man.

    1. Poor man? He deserves every bit of pain that fall gives him and more. I would never root for cancer, but let’s hope it is very aggressive so we can rid the world of one more monster communist dictator that is drenched in blood. Poor man. Stupid statement.

  2. NEVER KNEW THAT A RUSSIAN COULD WALK AROUND AND HAVE NO HEART…..WONDER WHO CONTRIBUTED THAT MISSING PART IN PUTIN………..

  3. Too bad that Putin isn’t Canadian. They could make available to him a packet of information explaining how Canadian medical care can help provide an appropriate assisted suicide package for him. It’s said to improve the recovery time!

  4. He woked himself
    -OR-
    He progressived himself
    -OR-
    He shumered himself
    -OR_
    He bidened himself C’mon AOL, tell it like it is…..

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